


She Once Was a True Love of Mine

by Darkmagyk



Category: Wolverine (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Trans, Gen, trans Logan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-04 15:33:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10282232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkmagyk/pseuds/Darkmagyk
Summary: Jane Howlett doesn't fit.Logan fits.A meditation on two times in Wolverine's life.





	

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to [billystarpip](http://billystarpip.tumblr.com/) for the beta and [bespurtle](http://bespurtle.tumblr.com/) for the other beta and title help. 
> 
> Inspired by [this](http://baking-accident.tumblr.com/post/158046460872/idk-if-this-is-a-weird-or-inappropriate-thing-for) tumblr post.
> 
> Alternate title was basically all the Simon and Garfunkel song 'The Boxer.'

Jane does not fit. 

She doesn’t really fit with Rose and the other girls when they are invited in from town. She loves the frilly dress Nanny made her. Loves the dainty cups their tea is served in. But sitting in the garden, eating the tiny sandwiches, she feels like a liar. For something she can’t really place. 

She doesn’t fit in with Dog, when he tries to get Jane to wander the grounds with him. The Howlett estate is beautiful. The only home Jane and Dog have ever known. And yet Dog roams it freely, with little care. Jane worries as she wanders. Worries something isn’t right with her or the world or both. Worries she’ll get sick again, be locked in the house or her room again. 

She doesn’t fit in with her family. Mummy misses John, misses the boy that died when Jane was a baby. Grandfather Howlett misses him too, but for a different reason. He wants another grandson, someone to carry on the Howlett name. Jane can’t do that. She tried to do other things, perfect her needlepoint and memorize pretty poems. Trying to prove she’s worth something for him. 

Father loves her. She knows knows knows that. He smiles at her and pats her head and teaches her Latin and Greek, how to play chess and keep the books. 

“You’d make a fine gentlemen,” He says with a chuckle, when Jane is better at leading than following, when he teaches her to dance. It makes her chest burn hot and cold. Because it sounds nice. She could be a gentleman like Father, even though she’s supposed to be a lady. But even with him, there's a hole where she should be snug. He looks at her sometime, and all there is in his eyes is pain. 

Even her body doesn’t fit. She coughs and chokes on everything. She’s prone to colds and fainting spells. And every winter she catches something bad and puts the whole household on edge. Rose reads to her from her bedside and assures her she is very dignified and ladylike. But even on the good days, normally right after she’s recovered from something that should have killed her, when she feels strong and like she wants to run for miles, she feels itchy and tight and wrong. 

And then one day, her bones don’t even fit. Jagged claws force themselves out, imbedding themselves in Thomas Logan’s chest. 

She bursts out. 

Out of her skin.

Out of her name.

Out of her life.

Out of _her_.

***

It takes a long road and a long time.

More cuts. More breaks.

More itching and lots of bloody scratch marks that heal. 

No scars.

But he doesn’t burst anymore.

Logan fits.

***

Logan fits.

He fits with the freaks and the outcasts. 

He fits with the mutants.

He fits with the X-men. 

He fits with Ororo and Kurt and Jean and Scott and Betsy and Pete and Rogue and all the rest of them.

He fits in the field and he fits in the school and he fits at Harry’s on Friday nights and during baseball on Saturday afternoons. 

And he fits with the teenage girls who come to the school, gnashing their teeth and wanting to burst. 

They all had the tightness, that itch, but none of them had been quite like him. 

Until today. 

In front of him is a girl. She wears a blue dress and a feral expression. Shiny claws extend from her small hands.

And finally someone asks the question. 

“How?”

“There are several possibilities,” Hank says. Hank doesn’t know. “Perhaps the y chromosome was damaged in their sample. They could have duplicated the X in hopes of compensating for that.” 

“That’s not what happened.” Ororo says. Ororo knows. 

She is a clone of Logan.

She’s burst already, he thinks, as Laura Kinney is ushered inside. Again and again. Maybe more than she needed to, maybe more then she wanted. 

But she’s here, now, ready to fit. 

He wonders, with a hint of dark humor, if the people who had been cloning him had known what to expect, or if they were confused by the results. 

23 tries, apparently. He wonders if some of the girls had just looked like failures. 

She is everything and nothing like Logan. 

And as they sit and talk, discuss her life, and who and what she is, and who or what she’s not, Logan wonders if Laura Kinney has a middle name. He wonders what she’d think of Jane. 

**Author's Note:**

> So, um, yeah, I saw that tumblr post, and thought trans Logan seemed like the most amazing idea, and was kind of shocked when I couldn't find it. And so I decided to write it. And then promptly didn't know what to do. But I decided on two short parallels that hopefully go something across and weren't horribly insensitive. 
> 
> Logan isn't really a character I gravitate towards, so that was kind of new for me. 
> 
> But I hope you like it.
> 
> Check out my [tumblr](http://darkmagyk.tumblr.com/).


End file.
